How to Stay Clean at Glastonbury: A Festival Hygiene Survival Guide

Let’s face it: hygiene at a festival like Glastonbury is less ‘spa weekend’ and more ‘mud-wrestling in a field of 210,000 sweaty humans’. But it doesn’t have to be full swamp-mode. With the right strategy (and a touch of cheeky ingenuity), you can maintain a level of freshness that stops short of full swamp troll.

Here’s your full guide to surviving five days of dust, sweat, beer, glitter and questionable porta-loos—while still brushing your teeth and smelling like a semi-respectable human.

🧼 1. To Shower or Not to Shower?

At Glasto, showering is a bit like winning the lottery: nice in theory, rare in practice. There are some public showers, including free ones at the Greenpeace Field, and off-site options if you don’t mind walking or queueing. But most punters skip them.

"I just gave up showering entirely by day two. You can only fight the mud for so long." – Matt, 32, 5-time Glasto vet

Better option? Embrace the glory of the baby wipe bath or pack a solar shower bag. A quick rinse behind your tent (with a friend on lookout duty) can work wonders for morale. Use shower shoes or flip flops. Mud + communal shower floors = regret.

Festival shower hacks:

• Go mid-morning or late at night to dodge the queues.
• Use a large water bottle, biodegradable soap and a flannel for a DIY wash.
• Bring a sarong or pop-up cubicle for modesty.

🧻 2. Toileting Like a Pro

Let’s talk loos. Glastonbury has thousands of them—long drop, compost, and porta-style—but none smell like roses. Accept it: you will see things that change you. But you can survive them with grace.

Top loo survival tips:

• BYO toilet paper. Always. Glasto loos are rarely stocked after the first 48 hours.
• Pack hand sanitiser and antibacterial wipes for a quick clean-up.
• Scope out the quiet toilets. Those furthest from the main stages tend to be cleaner.
• Go during main performances when queues are shortest.
• Sit or squat with caution. If hovering isn’t your forte, bring a seat cover or layer of paper.

"I once peed in a Pringles can behind the West Holts stage. Zero regrets." – Sophie, 26, real toilet renegade

🪥 3. Brushing Teeth (And Battling Beer Breath)

With all the cider, garlic noodles, and midnight snacks, brushing your teeth isn’t optional. You’ll thank yourself—and so will everyone within two metres.

Toothcare essentials:

• Travel toothbrush and paste.
• Mini bottle of mouthwash (bonus: doubles as hand sanitiser in a pinch).
• Chewing gum or mints for daytime breath emergencies.

Don’t be that person brushing next to someone’s tent flap—be considerate. Use a designated tap point or spit into biodegradable tissue and bin it. Or, as the bold do, brush-and-spit behind the toilets with a knowing glance to fellow festival warriors.

👕 4. Clothes, Sweat, and Dry Shampoo

Nothing feels better than a clean pair of socks after 18 hours of dancing in a field. Bring enough to change at least once per day. Twice if you’ve got wet or partied extra hard.

Other wardrobe wisdom:

• Layer up: mornings are chilly, days are scorching, nights are arctic.
• Waterproof boots beat wellies. Comfy, durable and less slippy in the mud.
• Dry shampoo is life. Spray, fluff, carry on.
• Reusable poncho or bin bags for surprise rain.

Pro tip: Baby powder or anti-chafe balm in your underwear zone = heavenly comfort.

🧴 5. Skin and Sun Care

UK festivals have two moods: soggy and sun-scorched. Either way, your skin takes a hit. Bring:

• SPF 30+ and reapply every 2 hours (yes, even if it's cloudy).
• Moisturiser or aloe vera for wind and sunburn.
• Lip balm with SPF—dry, cracked lips = tragic selfies.

Don’t forget bug spray, especially if you’re sleeping near the Green Fields or woods.

💧 6. Hydration and Nutrition (Because Booze Doesn’t Count)

Dehydration is real. It’s the sneaky villain behind headaches, hangovers, and sudden “I need to lie down in this bush” moments.

Stay on top of it:

• Bring a reusable bottle and refill it at the many free water stations.
• Carry hydration tablets or electrolyte sachets for added recovery power.
• Snacks! Think granola bars, fruit, crisps—fuel without the queue.

"I bring six pre-packed sandwiches, three litres of water, and zero expectations of eating anything hot." – Ben, 38, practical genius

🧼 7. Your Morning “Fresh-Up” Routine

If you follow no other advice—just do this:

1. Baby wipe your bits, pits and face.
2. Change into fresh pants and socks.
3. Brush your teeth and swig mouthwash.
4. Dry shampoo your scalp, tie hair back, pop on a hat.
5. Apply deodorant, sunscreen, and a brave face.

You’ll feel 90% more human, guaranteed.

🎒 8. Pack Like a Pro

🕺 9. Final Word: Embrace the Grime (a Bit)

Here’s the deal—at some point, you’ll smell funky. You’ll sweat through your fourth t-shirt. You’ll drop your loo roll in a puddle. And that’s okay.

"Everyone’s a dirtbag by Sunday. Embrace it, own it, and focus on the music." – Liz, 24, with glitter in her soul (and her ears)

Festivals are about freedom, fun and not giving too much of a toss. So if your hygiene plan goes sideways, laugh, dance harder, and find someone whose smell matches yours.

See You in the Fields!

Whether you're headbanging to Queens of the Stone Age or weeping gently during Lana Del Rey, you’ll be doing it fresher, cleaner, and cleverer than most. Just remember: rinse when you can, wipe when you can’t, and never, ever forget the loo roll.

Bonus link tips:

• Official Glastonbury Site
• Festival Packing List – Guardian
• Glastonbury subreddit – full of gold